


How To Freak Out Your Family (And Unintended Consequences)

by chancellorxofxtrash (PhoebeMurdivine)



Category: 91 Days (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angelo is not traumatized therefore is a little shit, Everybody Lives, Fake Marriage, Flirting, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Nobody is Dead, Nobody is a criminal, and it's an AU, this is actually happy for a change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 04:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8608312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoebeMurdivine/pseuds/chancellorxofxtrash
Summary: “Hey there this will sound absolutely crazy, but would you pretend to marry me?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this tumblr post: http://cactinouis.tumblr.com/post/153393127198/drst-lesbianshepard-so-my-english-professor

“Hey there this will sound absolutely crazy, but would you pretend to marry me?”

Angelo Lagusa looked at the man, who basically crashed to the barstool next to him two hours ago. In these two hours, he learnt a lot about him - he knew his name was Nero, that he was on this cruise trip with his family. He talked about how his little brother was especially talking to him about responsibility and rash decisions, as the future head of their company, and how tired was he about it.

Honestly, this wasn’t that weird, just two strangers on a cruise ship, together, talking about their lives. Angelo also interjected some things about his own one, his own family also being here. He expected that after finishing their drinks, they’d go on their separate ways, barely interacting any more.

Needless to say, Angelo did not expect this line to leave this (admittedly handsome) stranger’s mouth.

“You didn’t even buy me a drink yet, that’s quite quick don’t you think?”

Nero grinned - he had the kind of grin that immediately told you he was up to no good.

“I buy you a drink, are you going along with it?”

“Why do you want to pretend to get married?”

“Well…” Nero shrugged. “My brother is convinced I can’t be trusted, I’m too impulsive, or whatever. I think my sister and my father sort of agree. I want to freak them out a bit, I guess? So, are you in?”

Angelo looked at him, down at his empty glass, and shrugged.

“Buy me a pina colada, and we can come to an agreement.”

“Duuude. A cocktail? Really?”

He looked at Nero with a raised eyebrow.

“We didn’t even get engaged yet and you are already making comments about my tastes? That won’t work at all, Vanetti.”

Nero rolled his eyes.

“Fiiine, fine. Have your damn cocktail. Ya know what, I’m gonna try it too.”

So he tried it. And a second. And a third.

Angelo neglected to tell Nero that just because you can’t taste alcohol in cocktails much, they are still full of it. So by the end of the night Nero was reduced into a giggling mess with bright red face, thanks to all the alcohol in his system.

“You knooow, I actually think you are pretttty hot. Prettyyy, and hot. Both” Nero slurred, leaning at Angelo’s shoulder. “I think you’re gonna be a greatttt fiancé. Faux fiancé. Fauxné.”

“I don’t think that’s a word.”

“It should be.”

Nero was an absolute mess, and Angelo just took out his phone, and posted a selfie on Facebook instead.

-

“Nero, you should be more careful what kind of pictures you are tagged in on Facebook.”

It was his father who said that next morning. Nero didn’t quite remember how did he get back to his suite, but he was sitting with them during breakfast.

“Huh? Why?”

Frate was the one who turned his phone towards him, so Nero could see the selfie that Angelo posted.

Holy shit, he looked absolutely wasted.

“Who is that, even?”

Nero quickly evaluated his options. Either tell them now, or wait until Angelo can be there.

In the end, it was no contest at all.

“Ah. His name is Angelo. He’s a real sweetheart”  _ More like a little shit _ , Nero thought but didn’t voice it. “I’ll introduce you to him later.”

He wanted to do this properly, with maximum shock value.

Which meant he had to do this _ right. _

-

“We need to talk with the ship’s crew.”

This was what he opened with to Angelo, right after finding him. He even sneaked an arm around his waist. Hey, he gotta do this right? Right.

“Why’s that?”

“Look, if we want to do this, I want them to be on it. I want a big announcement. With fake wedding. The captain can marry people on ships can’t they?”

Nero could have swore that there was a small smirk on Angelo’s lips.

“They can, but I doubt the captain will have time for that.”

“Well, we never know if we don’t try.”

“Hold on a second.”

Angelo took out his phone, and started to message someone.

-

_ [Corteo, I need a quick answer: only the captain can marry people on ships?] _

 

_ [That’s… not even remotely true. They don’t have the right to marry people, unless they happen to fall into the category of those who otherwise could. For example if your captain would have been a judge, he could marry you, but being a captain does not give you the right to marry people anymore. Sorry.] _

 

_ [Alright. That gave me an even better idea. Thanks a bunch.] _

 

_ [Angelo what are you even doing?] _

 

_ [You’ll see. Don’t ruin it, when you see it.] _

 

_ [Does this have anything to do with that picture you posted on Facebook?] _

 

_ [Wait and see.] _

-

“Bad news is, a ship captain can’t marry people” Angelo said, putting away his phone. “Good news, most people most certainly don’t do that. Which means, if you want to really go big, or go home, we can go through an entire wedding, if we can convince the captain to do this.”

Nero looked at Angelo for a few moments.

“Uh I… how did you find that out?”

“My best friend used to work on ships a lot. It gave him enough money to go to college, so he knows a lot.”

“Hah, isn’t just that my luck? Got the perfect man with perfect connections to do this with.”

Angelo smirked, and Nero couldn’t help thinking that  _ alright maybe I picked a good person for this also because of how great he looks. _

“...would you maybe reconsider the undercut though?”

Angelo gave him a look. That kind of Look. The kind that said I Am Done With Your Bullshit, Nero. Nero had seen that look a lot, mostly from Frate, Fio or Barbero.

“...I want to end our engagement.”

“Aw, c’mon, babe” Nero grinned, his arm still around Angelo’s waist, and pulled him a bit closer. “Just go with it.”

Angelo smirked again, and leaned forward, almost letting their noses touch.

“Isn’t that what I had been doing?”

-

It was actually really easy to get the ship’s captain on board. It was a man with wild shock of red hair and freckles, and he enthusiastically clapped his hands together.

“Marriage! I always wanted to officiate weddings!”

“Captain, you don’t have the right to…” the first-mate said, with the expression of a man, who had to give this talk a thousand times already.

“Shhhh, I know that. But a fake wedding is better than no wedding!” He clapped both of them in the back so enthusiastically, that they almost fell over. That man had  _ strong  _ hands. “Don’t cha worry ‘bout it! I got ya covered!”

The plan was to announce it during the dinner, so they got the staff to seat the Vanetti and Lagusa families next to each other.

Better to go all the way, now that they were doing it, weren’t they?

-

“We are so glad you are sitting next to each other.”

Nero’s hand was once again around Angelo’s waist, as they stood between the two tables. Nero grinning ear to ear, Angelo’s face much less readable, but there was a small smile on his lips nevertheless, and one hand on Nero’s shoulder.

“We’d like to announce you that we are getting married!”

-

The announcement went as well as one would expect. Frate dropped his glass, Fio’s eyes widened. All three parents present were just gaping, meanwhile Luce almost fell down from his chair.

Then from the neighbouring tables, there was cheering and congratulations, and Angelo’s smile grew even bigger.

“Hey, give us a kiss!”

“Yeah, kiss!”

There was hooting, and Angelo tilted his head backwards a little, with a small smirk, and Nero’s expression had to be seen to be believed.

“I guess the crowd is quite clear about what they want to see.”

He didn’t had to say it twice, because Nero put his hand on Angelo’s face, giving him a kiss.

-

“So uh. I guess. That’s a thing. That our brothers are doing.”

Luce Lagusa sat down next to Frate Vanetti, who was sitting up on the deck, leaning on the railing, staring at the sea.

“He always does things like that. Nero, I mean. Does all these stupid things, and always gets away with it” Frate turned his head, looking at Luce. “Is your brother like that?”

“Sometimes” Luce admitted. “He could be like that, sometimes pulling completely insane stuff. Not to this extent, though. How does the rest of your family handle this?”

“Well, I think Father is pretending this isn’t real. Fio is trying to keep an open mind, but gently dissuade Nero from going through with this. Which, obviously, just convinces Nero to go through with it anyway” Frate gave a frustrated sigh. “Yours?”

“They  _ really  _ want to convince Angelo to stop. So far, to no avail.”

Frate ran a hand through his hair with a tired expression.

“This is gonna be a trainwreck.”

“Maybe” Luce agreed, and then stood up, extending a hand towards Frate. “Want to go to the bar, and just talk about what idiots our brothers are?”

For a few seconds, Frate just looked at the extended hand, before taking it.

“You know what, I guess I need that.”

-

Frate got back to his suite quite late, with messy hair, and obviously tired, and Nero wagged a finger at him.

“You know, if you steal the thunder of my wedding with making out with my brother-in-law, I’ll be cross with you.”

Frate actually looked at him with a grin, confident from the alcohol and Luce’s kisses.

“Afraid I’ll beat you to the wedding, brother?”

“Absolutely not!” Vincent’s voice suddenly interrupted them. “You are supposed to be the sensible one, Frate.”

“It’s not just Nero’s privilege, to be irresponsible. Maybe I want to be irresponsible a little too. Or Fio.”

“Please leave me out of this.” Fio sighed.

-

There was a wedding. There was actually a wedding.

The redheaded ship captain went wild over arranging the decorations of the restaurant. Both of them got suits, that they took on the cruise with themselves for events, and Nero actually felt his heart speed up.

Angelo definitely did not look that bad, when he held his hand.

They did not write their own vows, so it was the captain who gave the words for them to recite (neither of them were really the poetic type, besides it’s hard to write wedding vows to a person you had only known for two days).

Nero held his breath, but nobody objected. Nobody spoke up. Vincent looked like he was too sober for this, Frate was barely paying attention, but Fio and Luce were actually holding up their phones to video the wedding. As for Angelo’s parents, they looked like they weren’t sure whether to freak out or cry.

“You may kiss your husband~”

Oh well.

Time for the big finale.

He actually gave Angelo the dip, before kissing him, and he felt Angelo’s arm around his neck.

Part of him really didn’t want to stop the kiss, but they had to, and then their eyes met, and Angelo smiled. Seeing that smile made Nero’s heart skip a few beats, and part of him really just wanted to drop Angelo to the ground right then and there, to back out of this right away, before…

He did not.

-

That photo got posted to Facebook, with both of them in suits, and Nero dipping Angelo, and the two of them kissing. With the caption written by Nero, being completely enthusiastic about his new husband whom he just met yesterday, but he was so sure they were destined for life.

They were in a private suite they got from the ship’s captain to keep up with the ruse, so they spent the night with raiding the minibar, and reading the comments they got under the picture.

“Oh, this Corteo guy is congratulating us. How sweet.”

“He knows what’s going on” Angelo said, opening yet another chocolate for himself. “He’s the friend I mentioned. He knows captains can’t marry you, so he probably suspects something is up.”

“Ah, well. Nice of him to play along with us, anyways. Oh my god, I just got an influx of messages from Vanno, complaining he didn’t get to be my best man.”

“As I look at this, no one is really surprised. I mean they are like…  _ why are you the way you are,  _ instead of disbelief.”

Angelo said this, while scooting closer to Nero, so he could also look at his laptop screen, their shoulders were touching, and Nero tried really, really hard to not get distracted the way Angelo’s messy shirt uncovered his collarbone.

Uh. Right. Back to the messages. He could do this. Tomorrow, they’ll tell everyone, and everything will go back to normal. No more playing, no more kisses, it’ll all be okay.

He didn’t feel all that okay, and that was really stupid, actually.

“Oh, Barbero just sent me a message lecturing me. Oh, joy.”

Angelo smirked, and reached for another chocolate.

“Are you gonna eat all of it?”

“Probably.”

“Aren’t you leaving me any?”

Angelo raised his eyebrows.

And then without a word, he just put the chocolate right to Nero’s lips - he opened his mouth instictively, letting Angelo push the chocolate inside his mouth.

_ Shit. _

-

The next day, they told everyone. It really looked like a huge boulder rolled off from their parents’ shoulders. Their siblings were actually more surprised that it was fake than they were by the news of the actual wedding.

Their Facebook profiles blew up again after they posted the confirmation, which was almost just as funny as the original post had been.

“Honestly, why did you go along with it?”

Luce was the one who asked Angelo, walking through the deck, wind blowing through both of their hair. Luce actually started to put his hair into a ponytail lately, to avoid catching a face full of hair. He looked a little bit older like this, actually.

“It sounded like fun. I was a bit bored on this trip, I guess you could say.”

“So what now? Are you just gonna move on like nothing happened?”

“Nothing happened, Luce. It was just a prank.”

“Well…” Luce stretched a little. “Frate and I hit it off pretty well. So you can’t exactly avoid Nero, even after this.”

“I never said I want to  _ avoid  _ him, Luce.”

-

They definitely did not avoid each other. There were a lot more talks in the bar, and games in the casino. Around the end of their trip Nero entered an arm-wrestling tournament, and Angelo actually made decent money betting on him.

And then lost it, when Nero went up against a big Goliath-like man.

“That’s sweet. You trusted me.”

Nero was grinning, and both of them were up the deck, smoking, looking at the night sky.

“Well, we might be divorced, but it was still an amicable one. It would have been an insult to our marriage to bet against you, short-lived as it was.”

“Did anyone ever tell you that you might be stone-faced, but you can be a little shit?” Nero grinned at Angelo, turning his head that way.

“One or two people had mentioned that to me, yes.”

Nero chuckled, and the two of them were just smoking quietly.

“So. We’ll hit our destination tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“We might not see each other any time soon.”

“That’s true.”

“I uh… I actually liked hanging out with you. So maybe, can I get your phone number?”

Angelo sat up, putting out his cigarette - then he just leaned back down, pressing his lips over Nero’s lips.

When the kiss ended, Nero was looking at him, unable to find the words.

“You know my Facebook profile. Besides, our brothers also seem to  _ like hanging out with each other.  _ I think we’re all set for a later meeting.”

-

In two years, there was another Facebook announcement about the upcoming wedding of Nero Vanetti and Angelo Lagusa.

And a lot of comments underneath, highlights including Vanno Clemente’s  _ You better be marrying him for real this time I swear to god,  _ Frate Vanetti’s  _ Not this again…  _ and Testa Lagusa’s  _ I’m not gonna buy this again. _

And yes, Nero did give him the dip once again, when the time came for that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
